Sunday, March 1, 2009

Going Through the Motions

I just read Emily's (from stepping stones)blog titled "love the one you're with" and it got me thinking....

Too often I feel like I am just "going through the motions" of life. Our world has been turned upside down, inside out and most days I don't know which way is up. But I must continue to push on. I choose to push on for my 2 beautiful boys here with me. They deserve their mommy, a mommy who chooses them.
There have been times that I feel like I have been jipped out of this grieving thing as I have a 5 and a 3 year old to care for. Many days I have felt like crawling under the covers and crying all day long, but that is not an option. It is bittersweet. They force my butt out of bed, they force me to laugh.... and it feels good. There is nothing like an uncontrolable, contagious child's laughter to make you smile. I am so incredibly grateful for them, for our family and so "going through the motions" just isn't good enough. Sure there are going to be bad days, bad moments and that is okay. I am just hoping that those bad days get a little less (or at least a little easier to manage).

Thank you Emily.... for getting me thinking.


Anonymous said...

I hope you get more good days too.

Sara said...

Lea,I hope you find a way to just go through the motions for your two boys here--and make time to cry and retreat for yourself. Your boys are beautiful. I love the hands on belly pictures.

Emily said...

Thanks for this post. It means a lot to me that people read my blog (and comment) Hopefully the bad days will get fewer and further apart. ((hugs))

Carly Marie said...

Sending you love tonight. I am sorry I haven't been in here for a while :)

I am so grateful for my girls :) This post so resonated with me :)

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