Monday, October 31, 2011

Comfort Boxes

Our evening of putting together the Comfort Boxes for the hospital was truly magical. A special evening spent with some very special women. Thank you to Franchesca for the postcards shown on top of the boxes... beautiful. Here are how they turned out....

The tag placed just inside the box reads : Lovingly donated in memory of Nicholas Warren Reeves

Your Nana and I delivered them to the hospital today ~ on your birthday. What a truly moving and memorable visit. We were able to meet some very important and special people and share with them our initiative for the Comfort Boxes. I am wholeheartedly overwhelmed with the response of love and support. Most importantly, I am filled with bittersweet, beautiful memories of you, sweet boy ~ your tiny, gorgeous life has allowed us to touch so many more. Your memory soars. Your legacy flies....

Halloween Day - 3 Years Ago

As much as I enjoy watching our children have so much fun on Halloween....... the day will never be the same. I find it difficult to find the joy....

Halloween Day ~ Three Years Ago

Thursday, October 27, 2011

CHANGE ~ Nicholas' Race and Remembrance

Dear Friends and Family,

Sadly, we have been informed that the Dirty Duathalon that we were planning on participating in to commemorate Nicholas' 3rd Angel Day, has been rescheduled from November 5, 2011 to November 12, 2011. After considerable consideration "Team Nicholas" has decided that we are unable to attend the event due to the change of date. Many schedules and functions were changed in order for all to participate on November 5th and we are unable to change our plans at such short notice.

In the beginning I was devastated with this news. The Duathalon has always been such a strong, positive focus and a memorable day for our family. I couldn't imagine not having it to look forward to this year. However, after some soul searching and conversations with some awesome, supportive friends and family we have decided that this change in plans is a blessing in disguise.

We are now planning our own "Team Nicholas" Run/Walk/Stroll which will commence at the Gazebo at Fairy Lake in Newmarket. We will make our way through the pretty trails and end up back at the Gazebo where we will release several balloons to the sky...

We invite everyone (big and small - kids are more than welcome in strollers, wagons, scooters, etc.) to join us for a beautiful, peaceful and meaningful journey through the trails of Fairy Lake as we honour and remember our son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and friend, Nicholas Warren Reeves.

After our adventure we will gather at our home ~ 455 Heddle Crescent, Newmarket ~ for lunch and birthday treats.

I truly believe that this change happened for a reason. We are looking forward to a blessed day with many family and friends.

We hope to see you there!

Where - Meet at Gazebo, Fairy Lake, Newmarket, Ontario
When - Saturday, November 5, 2011
Time - 11 am
RSVP - Leanna ~

Lunch and refreshments to follow at the Reeves' House ~ 455 Heddle Crescent, Newmarket

Much Love,
Leanna, Jim, Evan, Kyle, Madison ... Remembering Nicholas

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Beginning of the End - October 28, 2008

The next couple of weeks will be tough to get through gracefully. Please bare with me. I am so incredibly grateful for all of the love and support.

I just realized how fitting/ironic it is that we will be getting together on Friday (October 28) to create our beautiful Comfort Boxes.

~ sigh ~

The Beginning of the End - October 28, 2008

Thursday, October 20, 2011


There has been a lot of talk about 'hope' lately. About finding gentler days. About holding on (sometimes barely) until the light breaks through. About finding that inner peace... a new found softness to your days.

This little beauty is my hope.

Love you, baby girl. Thank you for showing me the light. Everyday.

Monday, October 17, 2011


November is approaching and I can feel it in my bones. It's so true when they say that grief is physical, isn't it? I can literally feel the energy being sucked from my body. The aches.. the pains... the constant lump in my throat and tears just below the surface. I am, once again, trying desperately to draw a full, cleansing breath... to no avail and my tummy is in knots. I am anxious and irritable and my arms are begging for my baby boy.

Had a good, strong, from the soul kind of cry the other night. One of those cries that purges the soul. One of those "why us" cries... the sorry for yourself and all you've lost cries. I grasped Nicholas' blanket to me that night. I smelled him. I yearned to feel him close. I imagined his adorable, perfect, little face and wished beyond a wish to kiss it all over once again.

I knew it was coming. You just never know when it will hit you... like a ton of bricks.

We have been working really hard on the Comfort/Memory Boxes. I feel really good about them.. about what they may be able to offer newly grieving parents. But, as much as it gives me a positive focus for Nicholas' impending Angel Day I must admit that I also feel drained. I want to pour as much love, hope, understanding and comfort I can into every package. I want others to know that they are not alone. I want others to realize that there are ways to memorialize their babies before it's too late. I want others to realize that there is hope along this journey. It may be faint at times. It may flicker from time to time, but there is always hope and there is always our babies to help guide us.

Hmmm... no wonder my eyes sting from tears and tiredness. All completely, 100% worth it though. Every effort... every thought... every memory... every ounce of love ... it's all worth it, buddy.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Heartbreak of Infant Loss

One of our fellow baby loss Mama's shared this article on facebook. All I can say is, "WOW".... I feel the following words could have been extracted from my own heart. Amazing and important to share.

The Heartbreak of Infant Loss

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Beautiful Hope

Thank you Franchesca for continuing to remind us that there truly is hope in our daily lives.

I found myself having a nostalgic weekend. The weather was absolutely beautiful, summer like, a more than perfect weekend to spend with family at our cottage. The sun was shining, the lake was sparkling, the leaves were falling, the Autumn brush was burning filling the air with the sweet smell of smoky beauty. The colours of the trees as we gazed across the lake were gorgeous and the cool, crisp evenings were awesome, snuggle-up times.

The kids had a blast raking up the leaves and jumping in them only to rake them up again, again and again...

And we had some very special visits... ladybugs seemed to fill the air. Some would light on our hands for a while. One hung out on my back. We even had one fly into our car on the way up on Saturday. He stayed with us the entire ride..... "Mommy, now we're all together again! Nicholas needs you"... Sigh. As much as I cherish those 'visits' sometimes it doesn't seem to get much easier.

Love to you all...

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Some Updates.... In photos

Haven't shared photos for a while... thought it was about time for a little update from our family to yours.