Sunday, April 19, 2009

Nicholas' Memorial - November 16, 2008

Nicholas' memorial was beautiful. Small, quiet and full of love. My husband and I decided that we wanted to have a gathering at our home, with our family, some very close friends and neighbours who had stood by us in the weeks leading up to losing Nicholas. Having a large gathering at an impersonal funeral home was not an option for us.

I spent the week leading up to the memorial making scrapbooks, photo albums, memorial notices'.... anything that would keep me busy enough. Anything to keep me from crying 24/7.

My wonderful brother and sister-in-law put the precious pictures we have of our sweet boy into a slideshow and set it to music (maybe one day I will post that). Our guests were emotionally moved by the show... I was honored to share our intimate moments with Nicholas, with the one's we love.

We asked a close neighbour and friend to say some words... He was wonderful. He treated our Nicholas' memory with the dignity and respect he deserves. I will forever be thankful for that.

I went through the day on auto-pilot. A close family friend was there to serve light food and beverages, so I didn't have to worry about that, although I remember often wanting to duck into the kitchen for a break. Again, shock was our friend that day... otherwise I wouldn't have gotten through it.

A big thank you to all who helped prop us up that day.... and in the many days following. We are truly blessed to have such amazing, strong people in our lives.

Love.... xo


Courtney said...

The day of our boys memorial was also a blur. We didn't have the memorial in a funeral home either. We had a very intimate gathering at their resting place with maybe 20 people. There was a very meaningful prayer said and then we all parted ways. Some of us went to dinner afterwards. The day called for rain but the moment we pulled up to the cemetery...the sun came out and after we left the restaurant..the sun went away. I do believe our boys provided the beautiful sunshine that day.

Thank you for sharing about Nicolas' Memorial Day.

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I'm so glad you did this and have those memories. If you ever do put the slide show online, I will be honored to look at pictures of your sweet Nicholas. I hope the wonderful sounding family who shared in his memorial with you continue to show you support and love.

Hope's Mama said...

We had what we thought was going to be a small graveside service for Hope - 200 people showed up. Shock alone got me through, I'm sure. We didn't have a wake though. I just wanted to come home and be alone. There ended up being about 15 people here at our house though, just family, then we ordered in some food - but I was not "there". Some place else, far far away. Off with Hope somewhere I suspect....

Marissa said...

Hi Lea - just wanted to let you know that Nicholas is absolutely beautiful. I am so glad you got to spend the day remembering your sweet angel with those who care. All we can do is continue to love our children, here or up there, the best we can and it is through things like this that allow us to do so. HUGS!!!

alliecat said...

Lea, that pregnancy photo of you is just beautiful. You look gorgeous and it must represent such a happy time when Nicholas was nestled safe within, before such pain and loss entered your life. Thanks for sharing it. When and if you are ready I'd love to see that montage of Nicholas. But only if and when. It's terribly hard to put a big piece of your heart out there like that, I know.

It sounds like Nicholas's service was beautiful. I can relate to the auto-pilot feeling of then, it is a coping mechanism for sure.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi. xox

Shanti Mama said...

Lea, that is a beautiful picture of you and Nicholas together. Nicholas has always been so loved, it is clear to see in your expression. The memorial sounds like it healing even if you were on auto-pilot; you have peaceful and beautiful memories of that day.

Carly said...

Thank you for sharing about Nicholas' memorial. It sounds like a beautiful tribute to a beautiful little boy. I am so glad that you were surrounded by people that were willing to take care of things and let you just be. Thinking of you.

Amy said...

The memorial sounds so peaceful and full of love.

The picture is beautiful - your love for him is obvious.

still life angie said...

the memorial sounds beautiful, and that photo is stunning. sending love.

JustAnotherJenny said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. The photo of you above is just beautiful! What a wonderful thing to have.

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