Nicholas' Angel Day

Nicholas' Angel Day on Saturday was beautiful. Unusually sunny and warm for an early November day in Toronto. I am certain that Nicholas had something to do with it.



I must say that the old saying "the anticipation is almost always worse than the event itself" was fairly accurate for us. I have been a super mess for the past couple of weeks.... remembering every single thing leading up to saying goodbye to our precious boy.... but, overall, Saturday was pretty peaceful and positive.

We are so thankful to our wonderful friends for racing in honour of Nicholas and for giving us a focus for Saturday. The race was a success and proved to be very therapeutic.



We started our day by sending messages to Nicholas on blue balloons.




Each of the boys had something special to tell their brother.

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Team N.R. at the race



A tribute to our Angel.



"Happy 1" cupcakes for Nicholas.... only one little guy missing.

Thank you to everyone for their thoughts, love and prayers over the past several days. Just knowing that our son, Nicholas is remembered by so many helps to heal our broken hearts.

xo

Remembering and Loving you on your Angel Day

My last couple of post have been pretty down. Today isn't a whole lot different. We have passed the time (1:34pm) last year, on Friday, November 7, when Nicholas was born and I am now remembering those invaluable few hours we held him in our arms, smelled his sweet skin, wept and smiled, kissed and cuddled our baby boy.

I feel you, Nicholas. I feel you close, in my heart. I feel you every day, but today more than ever as if you are trying to offer mommy some comfort... peace. We are heading up North tonight, to our 'Heaven on Earth'. I feel like it's the closest we can be to you. A place that has always been a source of warmth and solace. A place where you, no doubt, would be making a million beautiful memories with your brothers.

I am searching for it, desperately. I am searching for peace in my heart, calm in my soul. Thank you, baby boy, for guiding mommy through the sadness, through the grief. Telling me, 'I love you, Mommy. I am with you. I am close. I too, long to be in your arms, but please know that I am even closer, in your heart, where my journey started in the very beginning'.

You have taught us so much, my love.

You have taught us how to love like we have never loved before.

You have taught us the gift of true, unguarded compassion.

You have taught us that we have strength that we never thought we would ever need.

You have taught us to hope. To cherish the simple things. To treasure the moments that may seem unforgettable to others.

I am grateful to feel your magic. The magic of connecting with you. Through sweet, pure signs. The rainbows in the sky, the hearts in our pictures that seem to always find a discreet place, the Angel Wings I make in honour of you...

Thank you, Nicholas.

Thank you for the gift of you.

Thank you for blessing us with your beautiful life.

Thank you for trusting us, your family, to hold you safe in our hearts.

Thank you for joining us on this important journey and thank you for imprinting your life on ours forever.

You are forever our third baby boy. Forever mighty in our hearts and souls.

Love you so much,
Mommy

Racing in Nicholas' Honour

So, I know that my last post was a little depressing. The following is something a lot more positive.

My husband and I have been struggling with what to do (or not to do) on Nicholas' Angel Day. I know that it's going to be a tough day, but we really want to celebrate him. Celebrate what he means to our family and our lives....

And then this opportunity fell into our laps. The following is a letter I have drafted and sent to friends and family who have shown us tremendous love and support throughout the most difficult year of our lives.



Dear Family and Friends,

Many of you are aware that on November 7, 2008, my husband, Jim and I, were challenged with every parent’s worst nightmare when our youngest son, Nicholas, was diagnosed with a very rare brain condition and was born, at full term, sound asleep.
Our family has been forced to face the most intense grief imaginable in the past year – the loss of a child. We have struggled with an array of emotions from despair and disbelief to hopefulness and pride.

Through it all we have been blessed with the love, support and encouragement of some very important people in our lives. Two of these wonderful people are Marcus and Meagan _____. They are people whom we are extremely proud to call friends.

A few weeks ago Marcus and Meagan approached Jim and I about racing in a “Dirty Duathalon” on November 7th (Nicholas’ Angel Day), in honour of our baby boy. Jim and I have been struggling with how to commemorate this milestone and instantly felt that this will be a perfect way to remember our son. We are more than touched by our beautiful friend’s thoughtfulness.

The race is sponsored by Runner’s Life Multisport Store in Peterborough, Ontario. Marcus and Meagan will be racing in the long course (3.8K Run – 10K Bike – 3.8K Run) commencing at Sir Sandford Fleming College on November 7, 2009. The course is completely off road (hence the “dirty” part) and is a mix of single track and open trails. Both Marcus and Meagan are very skilled cross bike riders and avid runners. We look forward to cheering them on.

Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto is where we met and said goodbye to our son, Nicholas. Although it was, by far, the worst day of our lives, the exceptional medical and emotional care we received was second to none. The Valentine Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Mount Sinai is known world- wide for its superb care of high risk mothers and their infants. Babies’ lives are saved even before they’re born with in utero surgery and parents are treated with compassion, sensitivity and respect. It is for these reasons (and many more) that our family has decided to support the Right From The Start Campaign for Women’s and Infant’s Health at Mount Sinai Hospital.

Jim, our two Earth Angels, Evan and Kyle, and I, would like to invite you to support Marcus and Meagan in their ride to honour our son, Nicholas Warren Reeves, on November 7, 2009.

By making a donation, in Nicholas’ name, to Right From The Start: Mount Sinai Hospital’s Campaign for Women’s and Infant’s Health, you will be helping us celebrate Nicholas’ life, honouring his memory and supporting the many women and babies’ in need of urgent, excellent care.

Every donation provides hope. Every gift is precious.

We thank you, from the bottom of our hearts, for taking the time to consider remembering our precious Nicholas in such a special way.

With Gratitude,
Marcus and Meagan
and
Leanna, Jim, Evan, Kyle and Angel Baby Nicholas

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We included a link to a special donation page created especially in Nicholas' honour. So far we have received some beautiful and generous donations.

I can't say enough how wonderful it is to remember our son in such a special way. To know that, because of Nicholas, we are able to support essential medical research and equipment needed for tiny miracles and their families makes me extremely proud.

Of course, I wish.... I wish so much that we were raising money for a different reason, however, giving back just a little helps my heart feel a little lighter and brighter.