Monday, January 4, 2010

Our Story

When we decided to send Madison to the Special Care Nursery a few hours after she was born it was a tough pill to swallow. I remember staying awake with her all night, listening to her laboured breathing and trying desperately to clear the mucous from her chest. I held her close, skin to skin as the nurses suggested. I tried feverishly to nurse her, thinking that would help clear her passageways. She slept on my chest while I thanked God over and over for our true, true miracle.

In the early morning the nurse gave me the option of taking her to the Special Care Nursery for observation. As terrified as I was for her to leave me I quickly realized that it was the best thing for her. Our first son was in the Special Care Nursery at the same hospital, so I was familiar.

The nurse took her from my arms and took her down the hall... the silence in my room was deafening. The rational part of me knew where she was going. I knew that they would look after her. That they would call for me as soon as they needed me, but as I faded into an utterly exhausted state of sleep I was constantly thrusted awake by nightmares... Nightmares of the "quiet room". Nightmares of when we said our last goodbye to Nicholas before the nurse took him from our room... to the "quiet room". My mind, my heart was definitely playing tricks on me.

Because of the H1N1 outbreak the NICU was under strict orders not to allow children in under the age of 10... including siblings. Our boys were devastated, especially our 3 1/2 year old who didn't quite understand. I am certain that, in his mind, he couldn't see his new baby sister the same way he can't see Nicholas. As if my heart can break into any more pieces... that did it. He was hysterical. So, I decided to share our story with the Special Care nurse. She pulled some strings and K was able to come in for a couple of minutes. The look on his face was priceless and much needed by everyone.

17 comments:

Mackenzie's Mommy said...

Oh my gosh that breaks my heart that your son thought he might have lost another sibling. That precious boy. I'm so glad he was able to see and hold his little sister. What a blessing!!
xo
Ashley

Kelli with Love said...

What a sweet picture...and a kind nurse! So glad he got to see his sister so he knew she was okay! Hope all is well with the new little Miss!

angie said...

That picture really says it all...thinking of you during this beautiful time. xo

Bluebird said...

Oh my gosh the PRIDE (and love. and maybe defiance after finally getting in?!) exuding from those little eyes brings tears to mine. Thank goodness for a compassionate nurse. That is truly a photo you will treasure forever.

margaret said...

OH, I am bawling right now...thanks for sharing that bit with us. Thank goodness for the "human" side of people, the side that makes them break or bend the rules just a bit so that a small boy's worries could be put to rest. Hugging you

Jennifer Ross said...

Beautiful... Beautiful... Beautiful


I'm so glad that the nurse did something so special for your little boy. His smile is priceless! :)

Barbara said...

Oh bless. Madison is going to be SO protected by her big brothers.

xxx

Courtney said...

Oh Little Miss Sunshine and Mr. K to brighten my day. Thank you for sharing this Lea, I was teary eyed in the beginning but so happy to see he got to see his little sister.

*hugs*

Emily said...

I love this photo. Congrats on your beautiful family and your lovely children (including sweet angel Nicholas) ((hugs))

Beth said...

what a sweet big brother face...

Holly said...

I'm so glad that they let him in! He really needed that!!

Just Breathe said...

What a beautiful picture.

Inanna said...

She takes after him too... little blondies. He's going to be such a good big brother to her.

ter@waaoms said...

oh gosh... I'm so glad that the nurse pulled some strings. It's so hard to explain to such a young child the difference. You're right, the look on his face is totally worth it. :) He's a proud big brother!

Never forgetting Gregory said...

Look at the face on that sweet boy. How amazing. I am so glad they were able to pull some strings.

Tracey said...

Most precious photo ever!!! The pride on his face, it just makes my heart swell...thanks for sharing the moment.

Jessica said...

What a beautiful photo!! He looks so happy and proud of his little sister.

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