So, we went to the appointment today to check on Madison's bilirubin levels. Being a new doctor to us, she had many questions, including medical history of our family. We went through the typical questions with the typical responses. And then the question of siblings came up. I said we have a 6 year old, a 4 year old, our youngest son passed away last year and, of course, Madison. She then proceeded to ask me whether our youngest son was born or was he just still born?
Excuse me??? How do you answer a question like that?
I was shocked at her lack of sensitivity (being a pediatrician).
I stuttered a bit and said... "well HE, Nicholas, was still born... but yes, of course he WAS born".
Unbelievable.
Other than that, she was very thorough with Maddie. She sent us over to the hospital for some more blood work and we will proceed from there. Poor little thing had to have a needle in her arm this time (previous times have been from a prick in her foot). She was trooper. Mommy... not so much.
We got to the hospital and waited and waited. Another mom came in with her little boy.... 7 week old, Nicholas. I had to catch my breath when I heard his name. I LOVE hearing his name.... when it's in context of talking about him.... but when it's another child... a living, thriving, beautiful, 7 week old. Wow, does that hit home. I looked at him and saw our Nicholas.... hard, definitely hard, but also heartwarming to see such a gorgeous, healthy baby in the arms of his Mama... just as it should be.
So now we just wait for results... I am hopeful that Maddie's levels are coming down and this is just a "normal" preemie thing. She is doing so well, it's hard to believe otherwise.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
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11 comments:
Praying for good results!! And yes, Nicholas WAS born! I follow a blog called "born still, but still born." I just love that saying :)
xo
Ashley
I think that most in that profession have be desensitized there are exceptions like your nurse, but it seems like they have a hard time coming to the sensitive side.
Hoping that Maddie's levels are coming down!
Nicolle
Glad to hear Maddie is doing well, and I hope her levels are coming down.
I too hate to hear my baby's name unless it is MY Ella. It takes my breath away.
And WOW....WHAT A HAG. How insensitive, I would have been so offended. At least you were able to catch your breath and say what you did.
Hugs,
Angela
What a difficult day. Do you have to go back and see that doctor again? My regular doctor told me that my loss wasn't like losing a 3 year old. I found a new doctor! Praying Maddie's levels are normal.
I am totally with you about such an insensitive question. I could understand some random person asking if "was he born" but a pediatrician? Come on (not that anyone should ask such a dumb question, but people are very ignorant to infant death). Actually, I have been asked several times if I delivered Zoelle. Really? Of course she was very early, born at 24 weeks...but what do people think happens? They just dissipate into our bodies? Anyway...I think you answered the question well. Like you said, how do you answer such a question?
As for little Miss Maddie...you guys are in my thoughts that her levels are going down. The last picture you posted, she is just adorable!! And I know it's hard to tell by only a picture, but I thought her color was improving. :-) Glad to hear she is doing well otherwise!
Hugs!!
Fingers crossed waiting for the results. Let us know. ((Hugs))
I so cannot STAND when people in the medical field are so cold and insensitive. Makes me angry!
Fingers crossed for Miss Maddie!
Wow, that must have a been a difficult appointment between the Dr.'s insensitive question, seeing a little newborn with Nicholas' name, and Maddie having to be poked! I hope her levels are back to normal soon!
I hope Maddie's levels are good! And wow, sometimes I think that dr's need to take a course on compassion and how to deal with things like death and grief.
You would think that doctors could take a lesson in bedside manner. Courses on how to proceed when speaking to a grieving parent. Makes you wonder if they have a heart.
Wow, what a Dr. I hope her compassion kicks in sooner then later.
Fingers crossed that Maddie's levels are dropping, I wish this wasn't even a concern for you guys. You should be enjoying her without a worry in the world. *hugs*
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