Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Ladybug

I have often been mesmerized, even envied stories of people who see or feel 'signs' from loved ones that have passed away. I remember reading certain, magical stories about how particular numbers or letters would begin to pop up for no logical reason. Numbers and/or letters that had significance to the love one who had passed. These 'signs' gave the ones left behind comfort, hope, and a reminder that their loved one was never too far away.

I would read these stories..... in magazine aritcles, listen to them on talk shows, cry over them in "Chicken Soup For The Soul"... but, not once, did I ever consider myself one of 'these' people. It wasn't because I didn't believe what these people were recounting was true for them, it was because I never thought that I would be one of those people who would so desperately be looking for comfort in 'signs'.

And then, we lost Nicholas... and I have found myself looking for these 'signs'. Looking for validation and reassurance that our baby boy is close by, watching over us.

There have been one hundred and one different little things that I could attribute to being a sign from our Angel, if I really grasped. However, this past weekend, on Nicholas' Angel Day there was a particular constant that I can't stop thinking about.

On Friday night, my husband, the boys and I headed up North to our "Heaven on Earth". We unpacked, warmed up the cottage, had some dinner, got the kids off to bed and tried to relax in anticipation for what the next day was going to bring. I went to the washroom to wash my face for bed and there on the faucet was a ladybug. Beautiful and red and perfect. I called for my husband to have a look, as finding a ladybug, in the cottage, in the middle on November, in Canada, is extremely unusual. It has always been said that ladybugs are a form of good luck. I took this tiny sign as an omen.... we were going to have a peaceful, sunny day for Nicholas' Angel Day.

The next day I packed a backpack of water bottles, snacks, mitts and hats to take to the race in honour of Nicholas. Once we arrived, I pulled out my water bottle and found a perfect, sweet ladybug clinging to the side of it. He/she stayed either on the water bottle or on my finger for most of the afternoon. My immediate thought was - now EVERYONE is here, celebrating and remembering...





The morning after Nicholas' Angel Day we were packing up to go home from the cottage. My husband and I walked down to Nicholas' stones (as we always do before we leave) and there, on his stones were two ladybugs sunning themselves in the cool morning glow.

I was shocked, moved and delighted all at the same time.

Coincidence? I would like to think that our boy was sending us some kind of message.

A message of love.

A message of comfort.

A 'sign' to let us know that he is always with us.

PS. Our two other boys are now calling ladybugs "Nicholas".

21 comments:

margaret said...

Oh Lea, that's just wonderful. I truly believe in signs but I don't think they come when we want them to. In the early days following Calvin's death, I begged God to give me a sign, a dream, anything that let me know our boy was ok. I think that in making me wait, God was reinforcing "trust", and when I was ready, I got the sign. I really believe that God feels sorrow for us, for our babies and that He gives us these signs as a way to let us know our precious children are safe and happy with Him. Thanks so much for sharing and for the email you sent yesterday...His birthday wasn't terribly hard, but his angel day is coming. Hugging you

The Blue Sparrow said...

I love these stories! It feels like a big hug from Nicholas doesnt it? I know everytime Bryston sends me a sparrow I feel his love in very special way. *HUGS*

Mrs. A said...

That is amazing, what a wonderful story!

Cristin said...

oh Lea,
it was a sign. i believe it at the core of my soul. he is near you, he is watching over you. what a wonderful resiliant sign he sent you.
as i'm sure you know, my sign or signal or whatever we call it of my Cayden is yellow butterflies.......i am utterly amazed how many times i get a glimpse of one in the strangest most amazing and perfectly timed butterfly. i am so glad that his spirit touched yours as you looked back and forward.
thinking of you,

Emalee said...

Oh wow that is just amazing lea!

Kristy said...

It was definitely a sign. I am so happy that you are getting signs from Nicholas. These stories make my heart melt. *hugs*

Jennifer Ross said...

What a great story of the ladybugs...

Rainbows remind me of Isaiah...

((hugs)) to you...

Jill said...

It is definitely a sign and an amazing one! What a story to share. : )

Bluebird said...

Ah, this made me smile :) Thank you for sharing.

Missing Kasey said...

Defiantly a sign! Nicholas was giving you lots of signs! I hope that made your weekend great.

Shanti Mama said...

Oh ladybugs! Yes, Yes, this is a sign! How sweet.

Franchesca Cox said...

Wow, how beautiful, Lea! Don't you just cherish these kinds of moments!

Bree said...

This makes me think of Mackenzie's Mama who associates ladybugs with her sweet baby. They are a sweet sign. I think they mean good luck, right? We could all use some of that.

Tina said...

What a sweet sign for your Nicholas to send you. xx

Holly said...

I love to hear things like this. What are the chances of having so many ladybug encounters like you did? I hope that they can send us signs to let us know they are ok. The only really thing for me has been a star I saw one evening. It was all alone in the sky and 'looking' right at me. It was so nice!

Beth said...

so, so sweet. i definitely believe in signs!

http://safeinthishouse.blogspot.com/2009/10/daughters.html

Debbie said...

Surely that was a sign. How incredibly heartwarming. <3
I missed it, but I am glad that his 1 year in Heaven turned out to be a beautiful, peaceful day. <3

Fiona said...

That's so beautiful. Wow, a sign that in no way could be ignored.

Once A Mother said...

what a beautiful sign from your little boy!

Mackenzie's Mommy said...

I don't think I ever read this but I LOVE IT!! Something similar happened to us on our recent vacation. Those little signs mean so much to baby loss moms!!!

XO
Ashley

Amanda Hoyt said...

Oh Lea! How moving! :::tears:::
Love, hugs and prayers

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