Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Kristi at Healing, Dealing, Dreaming has a list on her blog titled "20 Things Parents of Angels Wish You Would Remember". What a fabulous idea. She is my inspiration for the below list.
10 Things Others Can Do When Supporting A Grieving Parent
1. Acknowledge my baby, please. Don't be afraid to mention his name.
2. If you don't know what to say... say "I don't know what to say". It's much better than ignoring the situation altogether.
3. Please don't judge me. This journey is new and horrifying for me. I am still learning my way.
4. Although we have "better" days now, please don't think that I am "over" it. Truth is, I will never be "over" losing Nicholas.
5. Please don't ignore me. By choosing to stay away from me I feel isolated or that I'm no longer worthy of your friendship.
6. Please don't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about Nicholas with me. Truth is, it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are - I borrowed that from Kristi - so true.
7. Please don't forget our Nicholas. Just because the months go on doesn't mean he deserves to be forgotten. I think of him and love him every single day and am extremely protective of his memory.
8. Please understand that seeing and talking about newborns is horribly painful for me right now - I see Nicholas in them all.
9. Please understand that holidays and anniversaries are especially tough for us. A "thinking of you" is so appreciated.
10. I reiterate - Acknowledge my baby, please. Don't be afraid to mention his name. Nicholas is a part of us and always will be.