Tuesday, April 21, 2009

10 Things


Kristi at Healing, Dealing, Dreaming has a list on her blog titled "20 Things Parents of Angels Wish You Would Remember". What a fabulous idea. She is my inspiration for the below list.



10 Things Others Can Do When Supporting A Grieving Parent

1. Acknowledge my baby, please. Don't be afraid to mention his name.

2. If you don't know what to say... say "I don't know what to say". It's much better than ignoring the situation altogether.

3. Please don't judge me. This journey is new and horrifying for me. I am still learning my way.

4. Although we have "better" days now, please don't think that I am "over" it. Truth is, I will never be "over" losing Nicholas.

5. Please don't ignore me. By choosing to stay away from me I feel isolated or that I'm no longer worthy of your friendship.

6. Please don't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about Nicholas with me. Truth is, it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are - I borrowed that from Kristi - so true.

7. Please don't forget our Nicholas. Just because the months go on doesn't mean he deserves to be forgotten. I think of him and love him every single day and am extremely protective of his memory.

8. Please understand that seeing and talking about newborns is horribly painful for me right now - I see Nicholas in them all.

9. Please understand that holidays and anniversaries are especially tough for us. A "thinking of you" is so appreciated.

10. I reiterate - Acknowledge my baby, please. Don't be afraid to mention his name. Nicholas is a part of us and always will be.

12 comments:

Emily said...

Yes, yes, yes. I totally agree. Thanks for this list, I think it is great

Mary said...

I love these rules. I wish everyone knew them.

Never forgetting Gregory said...

Agreed.

Emalee said...

I think this is wonderful and can I use it on my blog?

Lea said...

Absolutely! Use it wherever it may help...

brycesmummy said...

Thank you for the list hun it is lovely, thank you for taking the time to right it out, and yes i very muchly agree with what you have said
I am sure that Nicholas would be proud to have you as his mummy, he is prolly looking over you now with a smile of his lovely face

caitsmom said...

Perfect. I felt empowered to read it and thinking about my own ten and how I can help those who love the bereaved. Peace.

Anna said...

Absolutely true.

Carly Marie said...

YES YES YES YES YES

Rach said...

Yes. Please don't forget our babies. And please say their names. I think of Nicholas. xxx

Shanti Mama said...

Too bad we can't pin this on the front of our shirts and walk around with it.

PS Thank you for the memory ideas! You inspired me to start.

Lea said...

"Too bad we can't pin this on the front of our shirts and walk around with it."

Love it - :)

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