Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I know that I originally said that I was thinking about starting another blog for this new pregnancy...this new little miracle, however, between not having the time to fully put my mind to creating something new as well as realizing more and more just how much Nicholas is a part of this new baby's life, I have decided that I will document some of our milestones here, on Nicholas' Touch. I hope not to upset or offend anyone.
This new journey, of growing life again after such a tragic loss, is a continuation of the path our life has taken us. What better place to share this new experience than the place I have received so much comfort and strength. Our baby boy, Nicholas and Nicholas' Touch have been such an inspiration to me. An inspiration to allow myself to grieve openly and honestly. An inspiration to reach out to others who are in the same world of pain we are in. An inspiration to love again... wholly and completely. Nicholas has been and will be with us every step of the way throughout this pregnancy. I can feel him... and when I close my eyes at night now, I often feel a sense of calm, peace. I like to believe that peacefulness comes from our very own Guardian Angel.
We had our 19-20 week scan today. We have opted to go downtown Toronto to the specialized hospital for our scans up until now.... more for peace of mind than anything else.
Everything looked very good. I have never seen a sweeter word than the word "normal" all the way down the scan report today. Phew. I do breathe a sigh of relief, however, this time in my pregnancy with Nicholas everything was fine too. It was exactly a week later that all hell broke loose. I don't think that I will fully breathe stress-free until we meet our baby girl in January.
Baby girl. I can't wrap my head around that either. I'm not sure I will know what to do with a girl! I am learning quickly that the doctors will not say with 100% certainty if they think the baby is a girl... no 'tell tale' sign, I guess. I just remember that with Kyle and Nicholas is sooooo obvious they were boys. The technician actually described the baby's sex parts as a "sandwich". Can't say I've ever heard that one before, but we got a kick out of it.
So... we'll see. I won't be painting the nursery pink just yet (although I am aching to).
Thank you for taking the time to read.
Posted by Lea at 9:17 PM