Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A little boy

I looked after my girlfriend's little boy today. The girlfriend who gave me the Angel Wings
after Nicholas passed away. The girlfriend who, along with her husband, organized the race in Nicholas' honour for his Angel Day. The girlfriend who has been a constant support and beautiful friend in the wake of such a horrific experience.

Her little boy is gorgeous, handsome, adorable.... he is also just about the age Nicholas would be right now.

When he was born a couple of months after we said goodbye to our precious boy, it was so difficult. I would sneak a peak from across the road (they are neighbours) of mom and dad packing him into the car.. strollers, diaper bags, all of the baby stuff and wonder why we were robbed of that with Nicholas. I found it difficult to see him, yet I longed to hold him.

He had a nap here yesterday. He didn't know where he was, so naturally he was a little anxious when I put him down. We snuggled. I stroked his hair and as the tears rolled down my cheeks, I remembered my Nicholas. I mourned for what might have been and I appreciated the opportunity to love this little boy...

8 comments:

My life said...

What a sweet moment. I have not yet been around a little boy since losing Nathan. Which is ironic given that I photograph babies for a living. It seems every client who has contacted me, their baby has been a little girl. I wonder if this little life inside me will be a boy or a girl.

Lisette said...

Oh that must have been so difficult for you but I am glad you were able to open your heart to him. ((HUGS))

Shandrea said...

Such a Bittersweet moment, but a beautiful moment. Sending you hugs.

Hopeful Mama said...

You are so brave- I am still overcome with jealousy when I see others lil boys.

brigette said...

Sounds like you have a great friend and you are a great friend in return!! You are so brave :0)

Mary said...

My nephew was only 6 months when we said good-bye to Lukas. He has been such a wonderful way for me to bring life back into my life.

elena said...

What a great friend you have! I expect that it was difficult but at the same time sweet that you were able to spend some time with her son and be reminded of your precious Nicholas!

love and prayers
elena

Holly said...

Oh Lea, what a precious moment it must have been to hold him. Makes me tear up!

Post a Comment