After spending most of the week (March Break for the kids) in the beautiful, warm sunshine on the driveway playing, I have been forced, once again, to reflect on what could have been... what should have been. Our Nicholas, playing like all of the other 1 1/2 year olds. As I watch them toddle around, exploring everything in sight, I can't help but wonder.... Wonder what our boy would be up to. Would he have walked early, like his brothers? Or would he be happy enough relaxing in his stroller? On one hand, I feel very protective of those children who are close to Nicholas' "age"... and on the other, it stings.
And once again, my heart is torn.
Happy and full, but so torn and bruised.
We had my beautiful girlfriend come by and take some more pictures... family, but, of course, Miss Madison was the star of the show.
Enjoy.
xx
16 comments:
Thinking of Nicholas today. I love how you use his collage in photos. I need to figure out how to appropriately print mine out. I tried on snapfish and things go cut off. xoxo
beautiful family who takes beautiful pictures!!! I love how Nicholas is in them too! ((HUGS))
Those pictures are so beautiful Lea!
"Happy and full, but so torn and bruised."...perfectly put.
That is what LOVE looks like :) And, I love how your honored sweet Nicholas. He will remain with you always.
xo
I love them!! Your family is just beautiful!!
I don't think we will ever be able to NOT think about what could have or should have been..people say "just don't think about it" how??? thinking of you and your sweet babies today!!
Just beautiful, you are all so photogenic! The one of M asleep, just magic. xxx
I just wanted to say, and I hope you don't mind, that fourth photo looks SO much like Nicholas. Striking resemblence.
xo
So very beautiful , thinking of you always !!
Caroline
Beautiful. I love how Nicholas is in the pictures with the family, that warmed my heart.
I am thinking of you my friend, and how you balance the joy and the sorrow. Your strength is an inspiration. How you adore little Miss Sunshine while still loving Nicholas.
Lea,
Your pictures are beautiful. What an amazing family! The balance is so tough, I struggle with it every day. Thinking of your Nicholas, Missing my Will, Sending Lots of Love, Carly
Star, indeed! <3 I think your entire family is absolutely beautiful.
I echo Carly, completely. The balance truly is tough. Sometimes the ache becomes completely overwhelming (and those are the times when I step back from the blogs...).
Thinking of you.
Your photos and family are so beautiful.
I met a lady at the doctors office a week ago with a baby girl who would be the age Bailey would have been if he was born full-term. She was beautiful, and made me miss Bailey so much (her older child is a Bailey too). She told me she had whooping cough early in her pregnancy with her daughter, and I had whooping cough early when pregnant with Bailey. I think that's what we do, we imagine our beautiful babies growing up and what could have been.
xxx
Oh my gosh, these photos are absolutely fabulous!!!!
WOnderful photos! I wanted to check in and tell you that I appreciate your blog and wonderful posts!
Kathy in Ak
mom to 4 one in Heaven since 1/6/6
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