I've said it before.... there have been many people IRL lately who have been forced to join this awful club. Old friends, new friends, friends of friends... all women who have had to say goodbye to their precious babies much too soon. There is a pull in my heart... a desire to want to try to help. To try to offer comfort. To try to find some words that allow both understanding of current pain and hope for the future.
I'm not convinced that I am doing a good job.
That's where you (Nicholas' Touch readers) come in.
No matter where you are in your journey...
Whether your pain is fresh and still soul searing... or the raw pain has gently subsided...
I would love to hear from you.
Is there anything in particular that you would like my perspective on in terms of this journey?
Are there any direct questions that I can answer honestly and truthfully for you?
Please let me know. I would love some direction.... some guidance in my quest to help...
With Love,
Lea
Friday, June 24, 2011
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5 comments:
Lea,
There is a question I know I have been pondering myself, and wanted to throw it out there to you and your readers. After we lost our only daughter in 2009, we knew that we wanted to try to have another baby. Our Rainbow baby boy was born in april 2010. People keep asking us if we are "done" and I struggle with the answer. There is a want deep within me, but I can't tell if that feeling is the wanting of another baby, or just wanting the daughter I lost. Does anyone else feel that way? How do you separate the feelings?
Lea,
I don't have any questions (yet?) but I just wanted to say that you are such a kind soul for giving so much of yourself.
You remind me of my "promise". When I first found out that I was having triplets, I asked the triplet community to share their thoughts on selective reduction. Women bared their souls. I promised that I would "pay it forward". And I did until we lost our son.
I haven't been back to the triplet community since that time and after reading your post, I feel badly. I don't feel like I have anything positive to share with the mothers who are recently pregnant, scared and hopeful of the future. I KNOW what can happen.
I hope that they understand. From what I have experienced, they are a strong and supportive community like this one. I have traded one for another.
One thing that I do feel comfortable doing is sharing about my feelings of loss. If you ever know of anyone that would like to hear from "this changed woman" 18 months after loss, please pass on my coordinates.
Thanks for helping me think and feel.
Peace,
Sarah
I think this is great of you to want to help so much.
I was curious...how many angel wings have you sent out to date?
I just want to thank you for Danny's wings. They arrived this week and are beautiful! I have them in a place in our room where I will see them often. Franki
You should know that some of my most comforting moments in this terrible journey have come from you. Never doubt the incredible support you offer to those of us struggling along the way.
I would be intersted in knowing how you knew you were ready to try again.
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