17 Months...

I was trying to figure out why I had this extra little twinge in my heart today and then it hit me. April 7. 17 months. Unbelievable. I know that we have all said it 100 times, but time seems to fly by.... and yet it stands still.

It's so difficult to comprehend that our Nicholas has been gone from this world for so long because he is such a special part of our lives. I can smell his sweet, fresh baby smell like it was yesterday. Each time I close my eyes and remember my boy, I can see his beautiful, red lips, red hair...perfectly chubby face. I can also feel the vice like grip on my heart as I remember those heartwrenching moments of letting him go.... I can feel the sting from the free flowing tears as I desperately try to catch my breath.

Sigh...

We love you so much, baby boy. You have touched so many lives and continue to be such an inspiration to me.

Just the other night (Easter Sunday Night) we had your candle lit. When I asked Daddy if he had blown it out when he came up to bed he said:

"Yes, it was the hardest thing I had to do today..."

That sums it up, sweet Nicholas. You are deeply loved and missed.

xx