Wednesday, January 29, 2014


Hey Buddy,

Yesterday was a day to remember.  To keep safe in my heart for many years to come.  Yesterday a community of people came together to remember, honour, pay respect to two beautiful, tiny souls.  Souls that weren't given a chance at life.  Souls that were left to die... alone, in the dark, in the cold, with no one to cuddle them, no one to love them as children deserve to be loved.  Yesterday I stood respectfully before their tiny, white coffins.  Those coffins.  Many memories of my last moments with you....  a coffin should not be that small.  It's cruel.  Unfair.  And far from okay.  I stood there and the tears came.  The lump formed...  as I imagined these precious lives being so unnecessarily cut short.  Imaging their helplessness ... and the helplessness these mothers felt.  Praying that the media coverage the service was getting will somehow, someway break through a barrier of society that doesn't seem to want to touch these subjects.  Hoping that "the powers that be" will find compassion for these lost souls... for the parents that are scared or sick...  Wishing that there will be something put into place to help.  To give these parents an option.  An option over abandonment.  An option over death.

I felt my body physically ache and become weak with grief as those sweet baby boys were carried out of the funeral home.  I had to remind myself to breathe... to steady myself as my heart broke all over again.  We followed the hearse to their grave.  A peaceful, delicate spot carved in the garden of the cemetery...  The temperature was beyond cold (-30) and the wind whipped the snow around us.  It was bitter... yet fitting.  I could endure a few minutes of dreadful cold to say goodbye to these boys.  To give them the dignity and respect they did not get in life.  To love them and comfort them on the last leg of their journey....  because they deserve it.  Because we cared.


lost--for--words said...

Lea, I'm so thankful that you were there to honour those beautiful babies. I literally feel my heart breaking when I think of those little boys who's lives ended far too soon, and I'm sure in absolutely horrific ways. I know your memory of these little boys will stay with you forever, and that is such a huge gift to them because you will think about them and honour their existence every time they cross your mind. It's so painful to think about the entire world carrying on and forgetting about all the babies who have gone too soon.... (((hugs))) I know Nicholas is proud of you.

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