Hey Buddy,
Feeling particularly run down today. Heavy thoughts. Aching heart. Wondering why... and wondering if this journey of missing you ever gets any easier. Of course, I know it does. It has. But today hurts. For no reason in particular except for being your mommy. I'm feeling tired... like this burden has taken a real, big toll on my body and soul.
This too, shall pass.
I will blow out your candle tonight, whisper goodnight as I trace the outline of your perfect, little face.... and I will be reminded of your beauty... of your fight... of your innocence.
I will devour a million and one kisses from your sassy, baby sister and my heart will smile.
I will look proudly at your oldest brother as I realize what a strong and responsible young man he is becoming.
I will squeeze your middle brother's hand and sing "You Are My Sunshine" as he gently falls asleep...
I will stay a little longer in your daddy's hug tonight as we remember your awesomeness together.
Each of these things will re-engergize my strength. Each of these things will begin to mend my tired heart....
But, just for right now, I am missing you like crazy.
All my love,
Mommy
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
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7 comments:
Hugs.
xxx
{{ hugs }}
xxx
{{{Hugs}}}
Lots of love to you Lea.
xoxo
I just found your blog while searching for some form of comfort to send a loved one that just lost their baby. This has been the 3rd baby lost in a year in our family. Mine was the first at only 12 weeks, then one at 18 weeks, and now this angel at 30 weeks. With each one I am sick with grief and sadness. I remember saying, " I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy." Even though my baby was only 12 weeks I had already started dreaming about the future. This post missing you was perfect. Thank you for sharing your story. What a great heart you have. And what a perfect way with the angel wings to remember your baby. -Alyssa
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