Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Miss you like crazy

Hey Buddy,

Feeling particularly run down today. Heavy thoughts. Aching heart. Wondering why... and wondering if this journey of missing you ever gets any easier. Of course, I know it does. It has. But today hurts. For no reason in particular except for being your mommy. I'm feeling tired... like this burden has taken a real, big toll on my body and soul.

This too, shall pass.

I will blow out your candle tonight, whisper goodnight as I trace the outline of your perfect, little face.... and I will be reminded of your beauty... of your fight... of your innocence.

I will devour a million and one kisses from your sassy, baby sister and my heart will smile.

I will look proudly at your oldest brother as I realize what a strong and responsible young man he is becoming.

I will squeeze your middle brother's hand and sing "You Are My Sunshine" as he gently falls asleep...

I will stay a little longer in your daddy's hug tonight as we remember your awesomeness together.

Each of these things will re-engergize my strength. Each of these things will begin to mend my tired heart....

But, just for right now, I am missing you like crazy.

All my love,
Mommy

7 comments:

Barbara said...

Hugs.
xxx

Caroline said...

{{ hugs }}

Rachael said...

xxx

Caroline said...

{{{Hugs}}}

Carly said...

Lots of love to you Lea.

Unknown said...

xoxo

Alyssa, Stephen, and McKinley said...

I just found your blog while searching for some form of comfort to send a loved one that just lost their baby. This has been the 3rd baby lost in a year in our family. Mine was the first at only 12 weeks, then one at 18 weeks, and now this angel at 30 weeks. With each one I am sick with grief and sadness. I remember saying, " I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy." Even though my baby was only 12 weeks I had already started dreaming about the future. This post missing you was perfect. Thank you for sharing your story. What a great heart you have. And what a perfect way with the angel wings to remember your baby. -Alyssa

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