Hi Ladies,
I know how much love and support is out there in our unique community and ask that you pop over to a new member of our club....
Caroline lost her beautiful baby boy, James, not very long ago. She is very early on in this horrifying journey. We have been in contact for the last couple of weeks as we live close by. Her writing is raw, honest, heartwrenching, yet full of love and adoration for James. Please head over to offer some love, understanding and guidance...
Thank you,
Lea
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
InspireRings ~ Winner!
Thank you for all of your interest in "InspireRings"!
I'm excited to announce the winner of the giveaway.....
Hubby chose a number between 1 and 9 and chose.....
#2!
Congratulations, Lost for Words!
Shoot me an email(lcreeves3@hotmail.com) and we can plan your InspireRing!
Love,
Lea
I'm excited to announce the winner of the giveaway.....
Hubby chose a number between 1 and 9 and chose.....
#2!
Congratulations, Lost for Words!
Shoot me an email(lcreeves3@hotmail.com) and we can plan your InspireRing!
Love,
Lea
Friday, February 18, 2011
Hope in Ladybugs
Do you have a small or big miracle that has brought you hope lately? Link up with Franchesca and share with others on her blog hop of hope entitled Small Miracles.
~
The past two + years have been difficult, wonderous, horrifying, blissful, peaceful terrifying, but also full of tremendous HOPE.
We miss our Nicholas every day. He is engrained in our family. A part of our every day dynamics and there are many times he makes his presence known to us.
There was one particular day... his very first Angel Day where hope seemed to prevail and our baby boy was persistent in showing us his love. We were attending a special duathalon that was organized by some amazingly supportive friends in honour of Nicholas. On that day ( a cold, Canadian day in November) a ladybug perched on my hand and didn't leave for the entire race (4-5 hours). This ladybug traveled up and down my arm, lighted on my finger, my water bottle... didn't fly away once. I was convinced that it was a sign. A beautiful sign. A tangible reminder that our babies are always near. They are always watching and loving us from afar.
Since then, ladybugs have become Nicholas' thing, of course. Many of my inspiring, hope filled stories involve ladybugs in one way or another. In fact, just today (an oddly mild day in February) a ladybug landed on my middle son, Kyle's mitten... just for a moment. It's Kyle's birthday.... Nicholas wanted to wish his brother a happy birthday. Love it.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
"InspireRings Launch... and a GIVEAWAY!
Some time ago we received a beautiful, heart-warming gift in the mail in honour of Nicholas. It is a Blessing Ring and it is meant to be a keepsake of memories, cards, notes, poems, verses, etc. of a special person or a special time in your life. When you receive these momentos you simply string them on your Blessing Ring and voila ~ all of your most precious memories are in one spot.
I fell in love with Nicholas' immediately. It's colourful, bright, meaningful ... and it even has a ladybug ornament attached. It hangs close to his spot in our home and I admire it often.
Since receiving Nicholas' Blessing Ring I have attempted to make a few of my own. One for a great girlfriend and another two for new babies (one being a rainbow baby).
So, my mind is whirling with ideas... Would love your opinions on me selling them. I can make them for any occassion:
I am thinking of calling them "InspireRings"....
Memorial
New Baby
Rainbow Baby
New Home
Bridal
Wedding
Mother's Day
Father's Day
Easter
Christmas
Valentine's Day
Best Friend
Sister
Mom
Teacher Gifts
The list can go on!
And so....in celebrating the potential launch of these unique gifts I would like to offer a giveaway!
Here is a sneak-peak....
If you are interested in receiving an "InspireRing", please leave a comment and let me know for what occasion you would like it for. When the winner is chosen I will work with you to create a custom-made "InspireRing".
I fell in love with Nicholas' immediately. It's colourful, bright, meaningful ... and it even has a ladybug ornament attached. It hangs close to his spot in our home and I admire it often.
Since receiving Nicholas' Blessing Ring I have attempted to make a few of my own. One for a great girlfriend and another two for new babies (one being a rainbow baby).
So, my mind is whirling with ideas... Would love your opinions on me selling them. I can make them for any occassion:
I am thinking of calling them "InspireRings"....
Memorial
New Baby
Rainbow Baby
New Home
Bridal
Wedding
Mother's Day
Father's Day
Easter
Christmas
Valentine's Day
Best Friend
Sister
Mom
Teacher Gifts
The list can go on!
And so....in celebrating the potential launch of these unique gifts I would like to offer a giveaway!
Here is a sneak-peak....
If you are interested in receiving an "InspireRing", please leave a comment and let me know for what occasion you would like it for. When the winner is chosen I will work with you to create a custom-made "InspireRing".
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Contradictions
"Children are not supposed to die."
Two years and three months later, this statement tends to embody my grief journey. No matter where I am in the cycle of mourning Nicholas, this sentiment is almost always at the forefront of my emotions.
The grief caused by Nicholas' death is not only painful, it is profoundly disorienting ~ children are not supposed to die.
When our baby boy died we were forced to face the most unimaginable paradox; the reality of grieving the loss of our son as well as the inherent need to continue on with life.
The contradictions seem endless. Every day there are moments when I struggle with the contradictory burden of wanting to be free of this overwhelming pain and yet needing it as a reminder of Nicholas. There is a need to fill the void of not having Nicholas walk beside us with tangible reminders of our love for him. We have quickly learned that memories are the precious gifts of the heart. That the memories we have of him, the memories we continue to create in his honour help us in our healing journey.
The following quote details a grieving parent's journey in a profound and poignant way:
" Parental grief is boundless. It touches every aspect of [a] parent's being...When a baby dies, parents grieve for the rest of their lives. Their grief becomes part of them...As time passes, parents come to appreciate that grief is [their] link to the child, [their] grief keeps [them] connected to the child"
- ARNOLD AND GEMMA, IN CORR ET AL. 1996, 50-51
It is a forever journey. A journey I would never have expected to have to live. Not that I felt that my family was exempt from such heartache, but because most people never allow their mind to go to such devastation. And yet, here we are, living with a void in our family constellation.
Having said that, there seems to be a fine line between the original conviction that we must hold onto the burden of grief in order to honour our child, and remembering to love and value our children in positive ways. I am fiercely protective of Nicholas' memory, just as I am fiercely protective of my other children's safety and well-being. I always will be. That is what mothers do. I remind my heart daily that there are wonderful ways to pay tribute to our sweet boy, Nicholas. That there are tangible ways to release the burden of pain and still love him unconditionally, creatively and generously.
Another moving quote;
" Probably the most stressful and anxiety-provoking act in human existence is the separation of a woman from her newborn infant. The response to this, which humans share with most of the animal kingdom, is an overwhelming combination of panic, rage, and distress"
- RUSKIN, IN HORCHLER AND MORRIS 1994,16
The "panic, rage and distress" that was deeply experienced in the moments, hours, days, weeks and months after losing Nicholas still creeps up on me every now and again. I still feel the anxiety, I still feel completely helpless and overwhelmed at every day life. for the most part, I've learned to live with these changes. The blueprint that was me...has changed. The experiences we have endured are intrinsically entrenched in my soul... embedded in my heart and, most days, I choose to believe that those changes have allowed me to be a better person, a better mommy, a better wife, a better daughter, a better friend...
And so, here we are, 2 years and 3 months later. There are times when, subconsciously, my mind goes to the darkest places; the "children are not supposed to die" kind of places... and then I look at his peaceful picture... I kiss my surviving children... and I remember who I am. I am a woman who will forever live with a burden in her heart, but I am also a woman who will forever live with joy in her soul.
Two years and three months later, this statement tends to embody my grief journey. No matter where I am in the cycle of mourning Nicholas, this sentiment is almost always at the forefront of my emotions.
The grief caused by Nicholas' death is not only painful, it is profoundly disorienting ~ children are not supposed to die.
When our baby boy died we were forced to face the most unimaginable paradox; the reality of grieving the loss of our son as well as the inherent need to continue on with life.
The contradictions seem endless. Every day there are moments when I struggle with the contradictory burden of wanting to be free of this overwhelming pain and yet needing it as a reminder of Nicholas. There is a need to fill the void of not having Nicholas walk beside us with tangible reminders of our love for him. We have quickly learned that memories are the precious gifts of the heart. That the memories we have of him, the memories we continue to create in his honour help us in our healing journey.
The following quote details a grieving parent's journey in a profound and poignant way:
" Parental grief is boundless. It touches every aspect of [a] parent's being...When a baby dies, parents grieve for the rest of their lives. Their grief becomes part of them...As time passes, parents come to appreciate that grief is [their] link to the child, [their] grief keeps [them] connected to the child"
- ARNOLD AND GEMMA, IN CORR ET AL. 1996, 50-51
It is a forever journey. A journey I would never have expected to have to live. Not that I felt that my family was exempt from such heartache, but because most people never allow their mind to go to such devastation. And yet, here we are, living with a void in our family constellation.
Having said that, there seems to be a fine line between the original conviction that we must hold onto the burden of grief in order to honour our child, and remembering to love and value our children in positive ways. I am fiercely protective of Nicholas' memory, just as I am fiercely protective of my other children's safety and well-being. I always will be. That is what mothers do. I remind my heart daily that there are wonderful ways to pay tribute to our sweet boy, Nicholas. That there are tangible ways to release the burden of pain and still love him unconditionally, creatively and generously.
Another moving quote;
" Probably the most stressful and anxiety-provoking act in human existence is the separation of a woman from her newborn infant. The response to this, which humans share with most of the animal kingdom, is an overwhelming combination of panic, rage, and distress"
- RUSKIN, IN HORCHLER AND MORRIS 1994,16
The "panic, rage and distress" that was deeply experienced in the moments, hours, days, weeks and months after losing Nicholas still creeps up on me every now and again. I still feel the anxiety, I still feel completely helpless and overwhelmed at every day life. for the most part, I've learned to live with these changes. The blueprint that was me...has changed. The experiences we have endured are intrinsically entrenched in my soul... embedded in my heart and, most days, I choose to believe that those changes have allowed me to be a better person, a better mommy, a better wife, a better daughter, a better friend...
And so, here we are, 2 years and 3 months later. There are times when, subconsciously, my mind goes to the darkest places; the "children are not supposed to die" kind of places... and then I look at his peaceful picture... I kiss my surviving children... and I remember who I am. I am a woman who will forever live with a burden in her heart, but I am also a woman who will forever live with joy in her soul.
Sharing...
Parental grief is boundless. It touches every aspect of [a] parent's being...When a baby dies, parents grieve for the rest of their lives. Their grief becomes part of them...As time passes, parents come to appreciate that grief is [their] link to the child, [their] grief keeps [them] connected to the child. - ARNOLD AND GEMMA, IN CORR ET AL. 1996, 50-51
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Goodnight, Gramma
It is with sadness and a strong sense of peace that I announce my Gramma Moo's passing. She will always be such a beautiful presence in my life. We love you, Gramma. Say 'hi' to Grampa and please give Nicholas big squeezes for us.
xx
Nan
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